A New App May Help With Early Diagnosis of Autism

A new video analysis tool may help spot early signs of autism. The software, which is currently under development as a tablet application, tracks and records infants’ activity during videotaped autism screening tests.

Results show the program is as effective at spotting behavioral markers of autism as experts giving the test themselves, and the software performs better than non-expert medical clinicians and students in training.

“We’re not trying to replace the experts,” says Jordan Hashemi, a graduate student in computer and electrical engineering at Duke University.

“We’re trying to transfer the knowledge of the relatively few autism experts available into classrooms and homes across the country. We want to give people tools they don’t currently have, because research has shown that early intervention can greatly impact the severity of the symptoms common in autism spectrum disorders.”

Read the full story here.

Photo Credit: Tia/Flickr

Grow Out Of It, Will You?

When they say it’s World Autism Awareness Day, does that mean, everyone is now sufficiently aware? April 2nd, 2008, the UN announced that this would be THE day to learn more about autism. It was a big to-do. I was a producer at a major international TV network and we were going to cover this day, wall to wall! Programing was rich with actual autistic and Aspergers children and adults, experts, book authors, doctors, parents. I was thrilled to see so much attention as well as new information pouring out of the TV screen. I was so proud to have been an instrumental part in making this happen. Then, a year later, April 2nd came and went, and there was absolutely no mention of it. 

Stories have been coming and going, experts have agreed to disagree that vaccines are to blame partially for the increasing number of autism cases, children have miraculously “healed” while others have been accused of cold blooded murder

And on that note, I would like to point out to the media, that autism is NOT a mental disease! Had it been mental illness, there would have been a pill invented that would cure the aforementioned disorder… such pill is not invented as of yet, so would the media kindly cease the use of Mental Disease in connection with Autism and Aspergers !…. 

In a flurry of contradicting opinions, painful experiences and a myriad of “cures” or lack thereof, I can’t help but ask: what good has come of having a world autism awareness day? What has changed because the Empire State Building or some other building in Dubai, have been lit blue on April the 2nd, or that a woman has decided to keep her blue lights on a whole month in honor of autism? Do the stories in media, blogs, videos, films about it, changed anything.

Ummm NO, and paradoxically, the rate of autism diagnosis among school aged children has jumped in the last years. 

According to a CDC study:  Children aged 6–17 in 2011–2012 were born in 1994–200 (approximately) and would have been about ages 2–13 in 2007 when the previous NSCH was conducted. The estimated prevalence of parent-reported ASD for that birth cohort in 2007 was 1.16%.

Clearly, the awareness is now here. Loud and clear, we know that autism is prevalent. More children will be diagnosed with some form of autism spectrum disorder this year, than with AIDS, cancer and diabetes combined! 

Unfortunately, the awareness has done nothing to make the disorder more socially accepted. While some neurotypical children are completely and totally accepting of their ASD peers, parents  of neurotypical children continue to be “protective” of their children and either discourage, or find a more politically correct form of avoidance of children on the spectrum. And later, when the neurotypical children become neurotypical adults and neurotypical parents of other neurotypical kids, they will do the same – prevent and avoid contact with anyone who’s slightly different than their child…  Until, one day, they find out, their child’s quirky habits and lack of eye contact, are just that – autism!

As a result of this social lack of acceptance, the ASD children’s social ineptness is exacerbated, and their social inadequateness, magnified by the rules and punishments imposed in the public (and private) school system.

This may go against the grain of many “autism friendly” private schools and their supporters, but my personal experience with a number of them, is that not only are they poorly equipped to meet the special needs of their already struggling students, but they are also not helpful when it comes to counseling and creating effective and comprehensive IEPs (individualized educational plans) and BIPs (behavior intervention plans).  

In the light of the latest depressing statistic that one in 50 children is on the spectrum, what is a parent to do? You have three choices: public, private or homeschool. I have tried all three. There is no panacea, there is no one straight and definitive answer, because it will always depend on the PEOPLE who work with your child. Homeschool is of course entirely dependent on the parent. One would think, this is perfect. The parent can create the perfect program, teach it to the child in a perfect way… Not so much…

Have you noticed how even parents of neurotypical children complain how the kids don’t come with instruction booklets, and they have no idea if they are doing the right thing with their children.

Well imagine how a parent of a special needs child feels.

First of all, there is the guilt trip. No matter what religion you are or not, it is inevitable that your conscience will whisper in your ear night and day, that it must be something that you did, or didn’t do that contributed to your child being that way. 

Then come the different stages of acceptance. Speech is delayed, so you attribute it to various factors, from too many languages spoken in the household, to a stressful situation, or a dog barked too loudly close to the baby, and he got scared.. . Then you sort of start to see the signs, but you refuse to look at them, and more importantly, refuse to label your child. I mean WHO wants that?! It’s AUTISM, it’s not LICE! You can’t just shampoo it off, wish it away.. NO. It will stay with you, and your child and your family your whole life! 

Then it slowly starts to sink in, and the permanent heavy feeling settles in, that your child may never have a life on his/her own, may never have a family of his/her own, and the worst fear of all parents:

When you die… your child…no matter how grown up he/she is, will have NO ONE to take care of him/her! 

This is probably the most terrifying fear of all… You feel so helpless in the face of time and this.. this.. whatever this “condition” is, that deters you from actually meeting your child!

I saw “The Notebook” the other day. Hadn’t seen it when it came out. Unfortunately, the descriptions cable gives, have usually little to do with what the movie is about. Her Alzheimer’s onset in many ways reminded me of what Aspergers is about. Except Alzheimers takes away someone you already knew. They had these glimpses of her real self, tiny increments of time, when she was “back” and could talk normally and recognized her husband. Well my son recognizes me, and everyone around him. He remembers everything he’s ever seen or read. We have long conversations about his interests and characters he plays with, or music he’s learned or listened…So in that regard, we are lucky. He has memory for all of us put together.  But will I ever have a conversation with him about how he feels about something? Will he ever grow out of it???

It’s a beast of a “condition” I must say… It is unpredictable as the March weather we have right now. There are some months, when he “outgrows” certain traits in leaps and bounds! He’s interested in cool things, he knows everything there is to know about the American Presidents, the planets and galaxies and stars, and most recently about guitar, guitar players since the 50s and their biographies. These are the times he usually excels in school, and has a mild and friendly demeanor and is extraordinarily engaged. 

These however are followed by periods of irritable disposition, lack of interest in anything school related, resistance to doing things he didn’t mind before – like writing his homework on his own, reading aloud in class. 

This outgrowing thing, is sort of a tango that we keep dancing during the years – two steps forward, one step back. 

My favorite is when friends who have no children on the spectrum, or any children what so ever, are quick to offer advice on how I shouldn’t give in and spoil him with satisfying his wishes or spending time with him when he asks. And I am yet to find the most polite way of telling them to go …… themselves. One doesn’t necessarily want to burn bridges, but if the “awareness” we’ve created in the past five years is still not effective, then it’s time for a different campaign.

That’s why I am attaching a blog post by someone who is going through this every day. Read their experience and spread the word.

It’s not only about acknowledging the problem and making people aware, it’s about looking for a solution, each and every day! 

And in the meantime, teach people to be tolerant, accepting and welcoming differences of any kind! 

 

Aspergers? What’s Aspergers?- The Proposed Eliminating of Asperger’s as a diagnosis

Reposting this HuffPost blog entry by Robert David Jaffee, Author of Strikeout at Hell Gate, L.A. Press
Club Award-winner, mental-health activist has written for, among other publications, the L.A. Times, L.A. Weekly and the Jewish Journal of Greater L.A. He is a graduate of Yale College and the Yale School of
Management.

He has grasped the essence of what Aspergers’ kids are about, how they behave and how easily misunderstood they are. Because of their high cognitive level, and sometimes acting and speaking above their age/grade level, they often get labeled as the spoiled kids who didn’t get turned down any request. In fact – they do desperately need therapies, help socializing, so they can use their photographic memory and endless imagination to become the next Einsteins and Edisons.. 

 

Asperger’s and Uniqueness in Little Rosie Miller 

by Robert David Jaffee

Autism, a disorder that in the past 20 years has seen its rates of diagnosis increase twentyfold, seemsto afflict white children more frequently than minority kids.No one knows exactly why. It may be because white families tend to have greater financial resources and more information available to them than minority families. As a result, parents of white kids with autism are more likely to press their cause or even sue school districts so as to get behavioral aides for their children.

Julie Otto Miller, a computer consultant from a middle-class, white family in the Los Angeles area, is not contemplating suing a school district, nor does she think at this point that her daughter Rosie, a gifted six-year old who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, needs a behavioral aide to take her from class to class at her school.

Julie just wants Rosie to learn more about social cues, skills she hopes Rosie can pick up from talk therapy and play therapy.

On a recent weekday at the Pasadena office of Rosie’s grandfather, a financial consultant, Rosie was her kinetic, cheerful self.

Wearing a pony tail for her blond hair, a pink tutu and a black shirt that read Love in four different colors, Rosie made swooping moves like a ballerina; chirped with a lilt in her voice, extending the word, Yes, into Yeeeesss, for instance; and enjoyed opening and closing the office door in a variation of Knock, Knock.

I told her that she is a natural-born actress, but her mother, Julie, noting that Rosie does not do too well in groups, said that if Rosie is destined for Broadway it may be as a performer in one-woman shows.

Rosie, who loves school and, like some kids with Asperger’s, functions at a very high level cognitively, has had trouble getting along with girls her age. She seems to do better with boys who apparently do not mind so much that she does not always adhere to the rules when they play games.

When I asked her if she likes boys, she blurted out, “Of course!” That is her favorite expression, which she uttered numerous times throughout our meeting, while grasping four or five pencils in her hand. At one point, she smacked a few of them on the table, and then drew a stick figure of herself with a yellow highlighter.

Rosie has many things going for her. She is extremely bright, with a fine memory for show tunes from the musical, Wicked, and has verbal skills superior to those of most children in the spectrum of autism disorders. She also has a dedicated advocate in her mother. (Full disclosure: Julie has helped me and my wife with our computers.)

Yet the state of California is facing a severe budget deficit and as a result has had to cut funding for education and the state’s Department of Developmental Services.

In the future, it may be even more difficult for children with Asperger’s to receive help from the government given that the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, has proposed eliminating Asperger’s as a diagnosis and subsuming it under the rubric of autism spectrum disorder.

Should the APA implement this proposed change in DSM-V, scheduled to be published in 2013, some parents fear that Asperger’s will be ghettoized as a diagnosis and that the health-care system will be less likely to cover children and adults who have the syndrome.

On top of these problems, there are some aggressive parents who game the system to get help for their children, who may not even have Asperger’s. Rosie, by contrast, comes by her diagnosis honestly, through genetics. Her maternal uncle has Asperger’s.

While there is no proven scientific method for curing autism, Alan Zarembo, in his series on autism in theL.A. Times last December, reported that some children with Asperger’s have shown dramatic improvement from various therapies, including Applied Behavior Analysis, an approach pioneered by the late Ivar Lovaas of UCLA.

Rosie just started meeting with a therapist, and at this point in time Julie does not think that Rosie needs an aide taking her from class to class. That may change, however, when Rosie gets to first grade, which she enters in the fall.

Julie, who has a Masters in Educational Technology from University of San Francisco, is concerned that Rosie may get negative feedback from her classmates in the next few years. She has considered putting Rosie on meds primarily because she thinks that Rosie can be disruptive in social settings.

Julie and Rosie use a 1 to 5 code to indicate the level of intensity or relaxation that she should display. At our meeting, Julie told Rosie, who took off her shoes and socks and did cartwheels in the room, that she should adhere to a 2 or a 3 on the scale, which meant being more low-key than she was at the moment.

Rosie has benefited enormously from therapeutic swimming that is done in warmer water (Julie says that studies show that kids adapt better to warmer water), with fewer kids and almost no splashing. Rosie gets one-on-one time with her instructor, which she did not get before. As a result, she is now a fine swimmer, who loves the backstroke. She also loves horseback riding.

Julie pointed out that neither swimming nor horseback riding is a team sport, which may be one of the reasons why Rosie enjoys them so much.

As Rosie started slapping my hand with high and low fives, she said, “down low.” When I put my hand down too late for her taste, she removed her hand quickly and with the whimsy of Puck, she giggled, “too slow.”

Maybe, Rosie can be a bit disruptive in a classroom or a supermarket, as her mother pointed out, but I see in her a unique pixie. And I am reminded of Bob Dylan’s line in “Maggie’s Farm,” “I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them.”

With enriching talk and play therapy, Rosie, who swooped and chirped again as we left the office, has the promise to be a troubadour herself.

(Source)

Happy Birthday!

So Sam is now officially 12. One more year of pre-teen-hood.. officially, because unofficially he’s already there. He was so excited he could hardly sleep for days.

He wrote his list of presents he “needs” and just to make sure I don’t forget, he also emailed me his detailed list. With prices and possible places where I can find them. His number one wish was to have a NintendoDS 3D.. I have refused to get one for him every since they came out. So now, the guilt really got me, and I succumbed to yet another digital mind numbing device. He’s been so attached to his iPad lately, that I figured, he will get the 3D and forget all about his wonderful science apps that he is using now. But I couldn’t not get it for him after he asked and begged since Thanksgiving last year.. Then followed the numbered and alphabetically organized Hero Factory and Star Wars lego sets.  The list was fairly long, but I couldn’t help but aplaude the fact that he knows exactly what he wants, and has spelled it out perfectly!

So, one day of shopping and a couple of hundred dollars later, I had checked everything off the list, plus my own list: Balloons – check, Cake ingredients – check, a bottle of carbonated apple juice in a fancy champaign looking bottle – check. Yes, I did make him a Vanilla Cake with Vanilla cream filling and sliced almonds on top…

The morning of his birthday, I took one of the balloons and went to wake him up. He shot out of his bed, unlike other mornings when he takes his time to wake up… He grabbed the balloon, said “thank you!” and rushed downstairs.. I was running after him to tell him that he doesn’t have time to open presents now, as we had to leave very soon to get to an appointment. He turned around and said “I know I just want to check if you got it correctly…. ”  Wow, no pressure.

He peaked carefully in every bag, nodding in approval, and mumbling. .”uhum.. yes.. ok.. yeah..that’s it..” and then he said, “You are missing two..but that’s ok, I love you anyway..” He was about to rush upstairs again to get ready, but I stopped him. I said “Sam, aren’t you going to say something?” “Oh, Thank you!” he said.. And rushed again.

If he were your neurotypical 12 year old,  he would be considered selfish, inconsiderate, bad mannered… But Aspergers and Autistic people don’t think like you and I. And there is nothing wrong with not using the generally accepted rules of courtesy.

The funny thing is, that sometimes, Sam would blow your mind with courtesies – he would introduce his grandmother to people we meet outside of home, he would open the door and hold it for other people, he would ask his tutor how her weekend was, and if she would like something to drink. It inevitably makes me ask myself, whether it’s family members that he considers unworthy of his effort to be courteous. Or is it may be the fact that he thinks, ah well, they know I love them, and they love me, so why should I keep telling and showing them something they already know..

But also, people easily forget that children and adults with Aspergers are not as tuned in to other people’s emotions as neurotipicals are. They don’t understand why they need to say all these niceties when they’ve made a logical request, they’ve calculated everything, they’ve asked you, and you’ve delivered. So the logical thing would be to check if everything is in place, and oh, yeah, some things are missing, but “I Love You Anyway!”

That last statement for me was more than enough to show me that he appreciated the presents and he loves me. I will take anything and understand and encourage him to be more sensitive. But unless I actually give him specific examples, feed him lines in certain situations, he will not voluntarily come up with it. And it’s not something that Sam or any child like him should be punished for, if they don’t do. Their brains are wired differently, and unless caretakers, teachers, parents and relatives, understand this, the children will suffer, and they will not know exactly why. There is no need for the “consequence” route. It will not sink it! It will not have the desired effect, and ultimately it will make them more resentful, because they don’t understand WHY they are being punished!

I love the fact that he built all of his 6 lego kits in less than 5 hours… A task that would probably take me 5 days… And I don’t guarantee success..

He may not be always on the ball with other people’s emotions, but boy, is he focused, smart and skilled!

Happy Birthday Sam!!! I love you too!

–Mom

Rock and Richmond

Have been too busy to blog lately.. One of the reasons is that we made a little 2 day trip to Richmond Virginia. I had to go there for work, and decided to take my mom and Sam along with me. They haven’t been away from the city in a while, and both of them have birthdays this week. So, off we went to the airport to catch an early flight to Richmond. Sam was very excited. He loves traveling and although he may seem at times disconnected from his surroundings and entrenched in his ipad, he sees more than you would give him credit for. We seemed to hit it off right, because as we arrived for check in, they offered to bump us up to First Class. I personally have no preference when it comes to domestic flights.. First or Economy, who cares, it’s an hour flight, and you don’t get anything besides peanuts and pretzels anyway.

Sam was excited though. He plopped himself in 2D window seat, immediately put his headphones on, buckled up, and ordered a juice from the flight attendant. Yep, he is quite the social charmer and knows exactly what he wants and how he wants it. I think this alone puts him in three categories higher than many neurotypical folks and kids, who spend their entire lives, not sure what is it exactly that they want of life. His methodical planning and precise list of needs, wants, goals, and places he wants to see, could make a professional travel agent, or organizational coach, jealous.

We landed in rainy Richmond much earlier than scheduled. Got into a cab and headed towards the city.
As we were driving down the freeway, Vanni says: “Target! We have to go to Target!” Of all things on the side of the road, he notices the bright red Target sign, and of course with his birthday approaching, he was already planning what he wants.
Alas, we didn’t have time to stop at Target, and that was the source of his frustration for several hours that day.
Whenever he gets that upset about something so minuscule, I always try to overanalyze the situation, compare to other similar situations before, was there a Target involved, is it maybe the unfamiliarity of the new place, and the fact that Target feels like home, or is it because he is tired, or hungry.

I ultimately think it’s the familiarity aspect. He likes how Target feels, the sense of order and orientation that the place gives him is probably something that he needs to find equilibrium in his new space.
Note to self: cancel reservations for Kenya safari, Vietnam culinary tour, and the Greek Islands tour.
Somehow, i was able to distract him off of the Target obsession.

It takes incremental bits of patience to move him away from a very strong denominator in his life.
I start by ignoring his pleas to go there. We manage peace for about 5 minutes.
He starts nagging again.

I say:  “Target is very far.”
He says: “NO, I saw it on the way here.”
I say:  “Precisely. .”
You read it and you got it. But for someone like Sam, “Precisely!” as a response, means absolutely nothing! It has no context, it has no additional tangible information, thus no meaning.
I realize that, but I still say it. It takes him by surprise. He is unprepared and now he’s thinking (you can almost hear the wheels turning, and see the thought bubble above his head..)
I’ve scored another 5 minutes of confusion and formulating a comeback.
And he strikes: “We can get a cab, just like we did before. I can even show the driver where it is, because I remember! I saw it.. ”
I saw this one coming..
“Well, we can’t really because by the time a cab comes and we get ready and go there, the store will close..”

At this point, he says “May I use your phone for a minute?” Of course I give it to him. Two minutes later, he turns the phone to me, showing me a map with Target in our vicinity and its opening hours, and victoriously says “No. They will not close until at least 10pm…”

So now, that he’s beaten me on my game, I decide to just stand my ground, no matter what. He was not exactly happy. But it’s a game I’ve decided to play and win this time. As long as I play it cool, and nonchalant, he fizzles out, like a soda bottle you’ve accidentally dropped. Then you let some of the bubbles out, and he’s calm again….  We live, we learn..

We passed the Target test. Onwards with the activities.

I was invited to a film festival, so I took them (My Mom and Sam) along for the red carpet and award ceremonies. My Mom was very happy and enjoyed every film. Sam… actually loved the films! I was so surprised! Every time I’ve tried taking him to the movies before he’s refused, saying it’s too loud, too dark, too fast, too this and too that.. Now suddenly just before his 12th birthday Sam became engaged in documentary films about orphans in Kenya and Uranium-poisoned water in New Mexico, affecting the Navajo Nation. I couldn’t watch the movies so carefully, as I was really observing his reactions and if he follows these stories. And he did, and he commented after every film. It was quite an epiphany that he really IS growing into his skin.

After the festival, we realized we can’t really take a stroll back to the hotel, as it was snowing violently and covering up the ground quite rapidly. We took a cab and decided to stop over for dinner at a nice steak house to celebrate my mom’s birthday which was the day after.

The Tobacco House was unexpectedly lively – full of young people, live music, on three distinct levels and with  great view of the stage downstairs. We enjoyed a beautiful meal, had the cake with a candle and went downstairs to wait for a cab. We were told wait times could exceed an hour, so we cozied up by the fire place and decided to enjoy the live music while waiting.

Sam has picked up guitar recently and is taking lessons once a week. He also knows pretty much every great guitar player in the last 100 years. He recognizes bands, that a child his age or even older, would be clueless about – Black Sabbath, Jimmy Hendrix, Johnny Cash – you get my point..

We are sitting there, and watching how the band is prepping for their appearance on stage. He suddenly walked up to the band by himself and asked one of them if he can have a look at their guitars. They said sure!
One of the guitar players approached us. He asked Sam: “So, you like guitars and rock music?” Sam’s eyes lit up “YES! I do “I immediately jumped to intervene or help him express himself (I know! I should stop doing this!!!!) But he was doing quite fine, and had no need for my help.

“In this case,” he said, “here is a guitar! You can take it to town man! You can jump on it, and break it! Do whatever you want with it…”

“Whoa!” I said “Don’t give him ideas now!”

Aaron (the guitar player) says “No, I mean it! He can have this guitar! It’s my training guitar! And I hope it brings him a recording contract when he grows up!!”

So there, long story short. We went to Richmond and got our Rock&Roll on! 🙂

Now, I’m not sure if it’s because of luck, the crazy weather, one too many beers (for Aaron) or just because he is really a charmer!

Perfect timing with his birthday also!

It’s today!

Happy Birthday SAM!!!

I say potato, you say Angry Birds! or “BEHIND THE CURTAIN”

The Sun was shining straight into his eyes, making him squint and wrinkle up his nose. This half-old, half-baby look gave him an appearance of a wise man who never had interest in keeping up with the time that flowed around him. Like a stone in a river, he just got shinier and smoother, but didn’t engage in the race of the water currents. He looked at me and said, “So, you want to play a game? I know my brother has Angry Birds on his phone, so we can get it on my iPad too and play it!”  But that wasn’t what I had in mind. I wanted to play a word association game.

He looked at me and his first reaction was “Is it on the computer? Do you have a toy with it? Is it on your phone?” “No,” I said. “Oh, so then it will be very boring!”

I can see how a conversation without a device in the middle can be a problem, not only for children on the spectrum, but also to people of all ages. I’ve noticed, (myself included) that there hardly are any more uninterrupted conversations. A quick glance to check if someone messaged me, or to just see the time…

He was apprehensive, but we started anyway. I wanted to find out how far from a word’s meaning he can deviate, so I can try to track his thought process and see what led him to that word.. How Jung-esque of me to attempt to enter my child’s mind, by tricking my way in behind the colorful curtain of his world.

“Potato!” – I said. “Angry Birds!” was his answer. That’s great, I thought! There is an abstract notion and logic that I could go after with some additional questions to find out, what led him from potato to the Angry Birds game. Alas, as our game progressed, I found that his initial response, was simply reiterating his desire to play a game that involved a device, rather than a psychological journey of association.

In this case, I said to myself, let’s go the other way, and say something expected, to see what else he will come up with. So I said “Bird!” “Trees!” he replied.

Me: Bench –  Sam: Chair

Me: Piano – Sam: Harp

Me: Japan – Sam: Tokyo

Me: Elevator – Sam: Escalator

Me: Shopping – Sam: Target

Me: Bullet – Sam: Shotgun

Me: TV – Sam: Video

Me: Boxing – Sam: Figiting

Me: Doves – Sam: Seagulls

Me: Fabric – Sam: Hair

Me: Music – Sam: Notes

Me: Paint – Sam: Colors

Me: Elephants – Sam: Grey

Me: Venus – Sam: Mercury

Me: Books – Sam: Library

Me: Mountains – Sam: Hills

Me: Cheese – Sam: Cheddar (his favorite)

Me: Winter – Sam: Summer

Me: Mexico – Sam: Scandinavia

Me: Desk – Sam: Table

So, needless to say, my Jung-inspired experiment failed. There are only a couple of times when he had an unpredictable answer that shone some light, and brought hope that with practice, this may be a good communication enriching tool. The one kernel of hope is in Fabric-Hair, where I thought he is definitely reaching out of his pre-conditioned self.

Ever since I found out (or rather, accepted the fact) that he is on the spectrum, I have been looking for common ground, for shortcuts, and baits, for his personality and knowledge to come out. When he was a baby, and wasn’t expected to speak, we had most intense “dialogues” with our eyes.  I’d look at him with a thought of a game I want to play with him, or a place i want to take him to, but I wouldn’t verbalize it. And he would look back at me with an expression of “I got it! I’m so excited, I can’t wait! Let’s do it! Let’s go!”  Once, my mother noticed me looking in his direction in that manner, and asked what I was doing. My dad told her “They are talking… Leave them alone!” The connection with him has always been very intense. So much so, that his ability to recognize my emotional status without me telling him anything, was absolutely amazing. There was a time, when I had a lot on mind. So one day, even though I smiled and told him we would go to eat ice cream if he wanted, he sat in the back of the car, and said – “I have the saddest mom in the world.  And I don’t know what to do to help her be happy.”  This of course was at a much later time. He was about 7 or 8 when he made these Yoda-like observations.

Now, at age 12, with a deeper new voice, almost 5.7′ tall, and a bit of facial hair, he seems so much more adult and “proper.”  Together with his baby high-pitched voice, he seems to have sadly lost some of his eccentric, almost clairvoyant ability to read the deepest secret feelings of people..

Given the fact that he is diagnosed with all these disorders (Aspergers, Autism, ADHD, in no particular order of importance), at age 12, his thinking is quite straight forward. Using correlation with an almost mathematical precision,  he moved from one word to the next, conforming carefully to what’s expected to be the “correct” answer.

In a way, although not completely successful, societal norms, have robbed him of his ability to be entirely spontaneous and creative… With some exceptions he provided answers, that in the “real” world will be accepted, in a multiple choice setting. How sad is it, that the most that’s expected of our kids is to make a choice of 3 or 4 answers, with only one considered correct. Well, what if, when left without options for correct answers, children like Sam, as well as the so called “neurotypical” kids, can look beyond what’s already discovered, catalogued, numbered and regurgitated a million times, and actually INVENT something new! What if it’s the 21st century, there is more that we don’t know, rather than what we know. Kids like Sam hold the key to creativity and unconventional ways of achieving goals, shortcuts to success, which we may have long lost, given all the norms and rules we need to follow.

I observe Sam growing up and as much as my concern about what will happen to him as he gets older, is growing proportionally with him, there is a sense of promise. There is also a feeling of security, that he will be ok. In all his corkiness, dorky-ness and naiveté, there shines through, a steadfast determination to achieve and learn whatever stands in his way of knowledge and perfection. He approaches everything with curiosity of a child, the methodical research of a scientist, and the repetition and preparation of an actor. His joy is infectious, his smile is like sunshine and I know, that he will go places. On his terms and on his time…