The Negotiator

So life has gotten a bit busy and I have fallen behind on my blogging!

Sam has been one busy bee himself. With homeschooling now in full swing, we are getting in a sort of a routine, that he fits everyone. There is a sense of accomplishment in him when I come back from work and find him on his iPad. As soon as he sees me walk in, he wants to tell me all he learned about the human body, diseases, the new tunes he listened to, and last but not least, to remind me of what is the next lego superhero he wants to get…  He is a master builder of these thousands of tiny pieces. 

Speaking of his superheros (I think the series is called Hero Factory), his latest fixation was a huge robotic looking thing, which of course was very expensive. Having just had his birthday and tons of presents, I told him that we need to wait a bit, and save up some money for this ..thing. 

He looked at me straight in the eyes, and said “Then I have to get a job!” Pause… I said, “Mmm-K, what job would you get? You know you are not allowed to work yet, but maybe you can help around the house with chores and we’ll consider payments for your work?” He nodded enthusiastically. 

The next day was Saturday, so after swimming and guitar practice, I asked him, where he wants to go – museum, park, zoo? He turned around and interrupted my list “I have to go home, I have to do laundry!” 

I was trying to keep a straight face, and agreed with him. But at home, we realized there was no more dirty clothes to wash, as we have just finished the laundry the day before. He was genuinely upset that we had no dirty clothes to fill a washing machine with.. It was definitely a pre-tantrum situation, but since I wasn’t feeding it with attention, it began fizzling out…And then he heard the leaf blower! My Dad had started preparing to do some yard work.. 

The relentless go-getter that Sam is, without a moment’s hesitation he declared “I am going to help Grandpa then!” and off he went. He blew leaves all around the yard, he gathered them in paper bags, he pushed the wheel barrel, he also pushed the lawn mower by himself. Every once in a while, he’d stop and wipe his forehead with his sleeve, give out a big sigh, but then continue with his work. 

In the end, he sat on the patio with Grandpa, and just waited. I asked him to come in and clean up, but he said “No, I’ll wait for my pay first..” 

Then  I admit, I eavesdropped.. I went inside, but was still able to hear their conversation.. It was endearingly hilarious, mostly because Sam was incredibly serious and a very hard negotiator.. 

Dad: “So Sam, how much do you think is your worth today? Let’s see you worked with me for about an hour, that would make…”

Sam: “$40!”

Dad: “Whoa! That’s a bit steep. I don’t know if I can pay you that much for yard work.. You know people who do that job usually get paid about $10 – $15 an hour.. would that be good?”

Sam: “No, that’s not enough. I think more like $30 would be better.”

Dad: “But that’s still double what people normally get paid..”

Sam: “Ok fine, then how about I work some more to make it to $30…”

Of course my Dad is a pushover when it comes to Sam, so yes he paid him. But Sam did what he promised. He blew the leaves in the back yard, and helped take out all the trash..

The week after he did it again.. 

We got the toy, he built the darn 600 piece monster in less than 2 hours, and now his attention has shifted to bigger, better and more expensive lego monsters… But I am so happy he doesn’t shy away from challenges, he doesn’t stop and give up, with all of his difficulties, he fights, he moves forward, and he achieves. Now, housework, and helping with chores is not such a chore anymore.. It’s a mean to an end, it’s a cause and effect and it makes him feel included, needed, and capable.

 

Tagged: Aspergers, Autism, chores, guitar, Hero Factory, homeschool, iPad, Lego, swimming